Celebrating Black Love

Happy Valentine's Day! I really enjoy Valentine's Day. I think that love is a good thing, that celebrating love is important and that it's not possible for any of us to be loved too much.

But sometimes—particularly on Valentine’s Day—when we think about love, our vision is too narrow. Of course, the intimate and romantic love that many of us will celebrate today is important and wonderful, and all human beings need it. But sometimes in our search for romantic love, we can become blinded to all of the other forms of love that we receive and that are available to us. Sometimes in our effort to receive love ,we forget how important it is to give love.

I know that my own life has been enriched by the wide variety of different ways that I have been able to experience love. In addition to romantic love, I enjoy the love of my family: love from my parents and siblings and the many children throughout our extended family network. There is the love that friends share, the support we receive from the people who care about us and have our back—the folks whom we call when we are complaining about the person who we're in romantic love with. Then there's the love that we receive from people in the many different communities in which we participate—whether our neighborhood, our church, the community of Black people and/or of gay people, for example. Belonging to a community is important because it helps us feel safe and secure. And there's even the love of country (that sometimes can get a little warped and distorted) that enhances many of our lives.

But there's probably no love that is more important than the love of self. That's my wish on this V Day: That you take a minute to celebrate yourself. That you take a minute to both say and hear yourself speak the words, “I love me.” Because if we are not able to love ourselves—and far too many of us neglect that kind of love—it is not possible for us to experience all of the myriad of ways that we can and in fact are loved.

Wishing you joy on this day of love.

Yours in the struggle,

Phill